Guest Blog-Morgan Dolginow
The Time for Love is Now
By: Morgan Dolginow - Ignite Vibrancy Intentional Love Coach
Are you waiting for “the one” to go on your dream vacation, get a dog, be happy, invest in the sport you have always been interested in, or start really living the way you want? Perhaps you hold tightly to sharing your dreams with another in a loving and committed relationship to such a degree that you are feeling stuck in the waiting game, waiting for “the love of your life” to come along in the future. Perhaps you are focused on your career, on accomplishments and creating ripples in the world and tell yourself that you don’t have time for love.
Whatever the case, wherever you are in your life, no matter your identity, the time for love is now.
The secret to finding love, the secret to welcoming in love from others, the secret is simple: love yourself.
When I first fell in love with someone, I thought this was all that was needed for a happy and healthy relationship. But I did not realize that somewhere in the relationship and amid infatuation that I stopped loving myself. So even if you are in a relationship currently, you are responsible for loving yourself in addition to receiving love from others!
When you do the activities you love, when you learn about what you are interested in, when you try new things to discover what you are passionate about, when you experience flow states in your life where you are fully in the moment, you are loving yourself. Self-care- taking alone time, dancing, warm baths, hiking in nature, positive affirmations- whatever activities replenish your energy and leave you feeling authentically you are forms of self-love.
Why does loving ourselves bring love into our lives?
When others see you glowing from being yourself, enjoying what you do, living fully in the present, or even dabbling with what it feels like to do something that is internally motivated, they are attracted to you and your light.
Scientific studies* have found that we like people who are similar to us in some way, such as preferred activities, humor style, internal values, or even the same birthday. Therefore, by doing what you want in life, you are more likely to connect with individuals who like the real you and who you are attracted to.
Side effects of loving yourself include, confidence, mental health benefits, increased energy, connection with others, and feelings of ease and purpose.
5 Ways to Love Yourself
1. Identify what you have been pulled to try, yet have not begun. Write down a list and mark the items that most interest you. Go down the list again, and commit to 3 things. Sit with each item and visualize yourself doing that activity. How will you incorporate this new aspect of yourself into your life?
2. Write yourself a love letter each week for a month. Read each letter out loud to yourself while looking in the mirror, or record yourself reading the letter and listen to the recording.
3. Go on a date with yourself! While we all have spent some time, this idea is from the Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, and involves treating yourself to intentional time to rejuvenate, enjoy, explore, and be with yourself.
4. Listen to your intuition, even if it goes against the grain. Despite your plans, what other people say, society, if you listen to your intuition when it shows up as a knowing, a feeling, a voice in your head, or a visual then you will be building trust inside yourself and tapping into the flow of the universe. What better way to love yourself than to trust yourself?
5. Commit to a healthy grounding routine. If you enjoy the feeling you have after you dance or exercise then commit to this. If you are balanced by meditation or mindfulness practices then create this space. Whatever your routine, by committing to a grounding practice you can create safety and stability in yourself for love to grow.
To learn more ways to cultivate love in your life, increase communication in your relationships, effectively create and maintain boundaries, and how to intentionally love others visit ignitevibrancy.com/blog If you are ready to break outdated relationship patterns and to find the love you have been looking for, learn more about intentional love coaching with Morgan in a free hour long session and discovery call.
About the Author
Morgan Dolginow coaches and supports individuals to release outdated relationship beliefs and to discover a life of love and vibrancy! She is also the creator of a flow arts, fire dancing, and movement arts podcast – The Art of Flow, which is available on iTunes, Spotify, SoundCloud, YouTube, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, and theartofflowpodcast.com
Morgan has traveled 6 continents seeking adventure, self-growth, and the development of compassion through shared experiences with the global community. Her biggest discovery is that you can have a travel mindset wherever you go, even in the routine of everyday life. Her coaching is founded on a holistic, transformational, somatic, and behavioral change approach.
*Jones, J. T., Pelham, B. W., Carvallo, M., & Mirenberg, M. C. (2004). How do I love thee? Let me count the Js: Implicit egotism and interpersonal attraction. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 87(5), 665–683