Am I good enough outside of my sport?

A 2020 graduate and former student athlete expressed to me that she feels like she doesn’t feel good enough outside of her sport. Being a couple of years out of college and being a part of the class whose last year was cut short has been complicated. Leaving behind college athletics is difficult and having it taken away from you months early and very unexpectedly adds another layer of loss.

Performing at a very high level athletically took years and years or training, practicing, growing, learning, adjusting, competing and development. There were failures, frustrations, obstacles, challenges along the way. There were wins, celebrations, excitement and achievements. It took time, energy, effort, hard work, patience and a ton of growth to get to a high level of athletic performance. And even then, many athletes feel like they are not good enough despite the success they have.

So then shift to a recent graduate who is entering their career after college and has shifted from being at the top of their game to an entry level position of a new career and chapter of their life. It makes sense that they may not feel “good enough” and may be comparing themselves to others in the office who have been there for 5 years. That is not a fair comparison as it would parallel a freshman comparing themselves to a 5th year senior. Feeling like you are your best self in areas of your life takes time, commitment and a growth and positive mindset.

“Feeling not good enough” can be a lifelong challenge.

If you feel similarly to this athlete, remember that you can be a masterpiece and a work in progress at the same time. You can be at the top of your game and still feel like you can do better in your sport, your job, your relationships, your health and many other areas of your life. And that is okay. I believe that is the first step- to understand that you may always feel like you are not good enough. When you accept that , you can give yourself some grace and compassion to understand where this limiting story comes from. Explore the narrative and work to understand what is behind them. Then take the time to reframe that story to something you can believe in and something you can replace the old stories with.

When it comes down to it, you will always have areas of your life that you will not feel your best and may not feel good enough. You owe it to your future self to work through those feelings and thoughts of limitations to get to a place of self compassion and kindness. In time, you will feel at the top of your game in these new chapters and roles of your life.

You got this. Keep going. Your future self will thank you.