Expectations

A 2022 graduate and former student athlete recently said to me, “How did you manage the expectations other put on you when you have a new role after college? I feel like I’m still the same person but others expect me to be better, older and wiser now.”

I immediately understood what they meant and reflected on my time when I started as an assistant coach at my alma mater, Penn State. I moved back to Happy Valley 5 years older, 5 years wiser with 5 more years of experience from when I had graduated. I remember feeling like I was supposed to have my shit together because I had been in the real real world and was entering my late 20’s.

But I didn’t feel any wiser or better even though I was older. In fact, I felt unprepared, inadequate and unsure of my abilities to be a coach for these young women who were experiencing what I had just a few years prior.

I felt like an imposter.

I soon realized that I was more than capable to be their coach and that the years of experience that I had were invaluable. As I moved into my coaching career , I leaned on that mindset and began to settle into my identity as a leader and coach for these athletes. I also realized that I had so much more to learn- about myself, about human relationships, about motivating, leading and guiding others. I quickly learned that you will never be fully equipped no matter how much experience that you have and being okay with that is so important.

There is no perfect but you can be perfectly imperfect.

So as you move away from your college athletics life into your life after college, remember that it took YEARS to get to that level of play. As you enter new fields of expertise, give yourself some grace and compassion to allow yourself to learn, grow, change and stretch.

You owe that to your future self.