Create Boundaries.

I am writing this as I am at at the end of a two week vacation on the East Coast. I flew to Rochester, New York to see my family for the first time in over a year and a half and to visit friends in New Jersey for a week. Pre-Covid trips like this were normal. I was used to spending more time on the road than at home for stretches of time. It did not phase me. In fact, I often thrived on travel and living out of a suitcase moving from a hotel to an Airbnb to a guest room.

This time around has been different. I am almost at the end of two weeks and I am exhausted from all of the travel and all of the different social settings. I spent 5 days with family on our annual camping trip (that I missed last year due to Covid) that included bike rides, campfires, cooking over the fire, card games, hikes, games of around the world on the basketball court and sleeping in a tent with family members. There was very little “alone time” however I made sure to create some. I went for a jog by myself, took some time to read in the hammock and got up early to have coffee and read, write or meditate. Small boundaries but I created them and stuck to them.

After the camping trip, I headed to New Jersey to visit some friends and celebrate a close friends birthday and then culminate the week with another 2 night camping trip with white water rafting. After the all day pool party followed by a day in Brooklyn visiting my old stomping grounds, I realized that I was running on fumes. And the thought of going to sleep on an air mattress in a tent for two nights in 80+ degrees was not bringing any thoughts of joy. So I talked to my friends about how I was feeling and decided to stay back from the camping part of the trip and just drive over for the day to go white water rafting. This gave me two nights to get a solid night sleep before flying back to the West Coast. It also provided the opportunity to sit by the pool and read, go for a swim and have some much needed downtime.

Years ago, I never would have made a decision to change my plans in the middle of a vacation. If I had committed to go on the camping trip, I would have gone even if I was exhausted and my back was sore. I wouldn’t want to let anyone down so I would say “yes” to others even though it was a “no” for me. Those choices would wear me down and burn out became real.

This time around, I evaluated how I was feeling and listened to my body. And I set a boundary for myself to help my mental and physical health. I stayed back at the house, got a work out in, ate lunch on the back porch while reading and grabbed dinner with another friend. All things that centered and grounded me.

Creating boundaries is one thing. Keeping them is another.

Are there any areas in your life that you can make a decision to set a boundary and then follow through on it? Is it committing to leaving work at work and not answering the emails on a weekend? Is it saying, “no thank you” to that dinner invite so you can have a relaxing evening at home? Is it not answering the phone when you don’t have the time or the energy for that phone call? Is it cutting down on screen time or social media so you can spend time doing something else creative that brings you joy?

I encourage you to take a look at where you can set a boundary and do it. Take care of you, first.

You got this. Keep going. Your future self will thank you.