“I am exhausted with myself.”
Recently I was coaching at a golf tournament and I had a player who was struggling on the course. She was not hitting the ball well and you could see the rise in tension in her body as the round went on. It was mentally exhausting for her as she continued to fight with herself and her inner critic. She missed a short putt and walked by me and said, “I am exhausted with myself.”
The statement really resonated with me. I understood it so completely when she said it. I have been there- days where my perfectionist is in the driver's seat. And she is telling me how I haven’t done things right. She pushes me, adds pressure to outcomes, pulls me out of the present and pushes me into future land of doubt, fear, shame and a host of other emotions.
Ever have that push and pull with yourself? A part of you is telling you to work harder, do more, keep going at all costs while another part of you is telling you to chill out, relax and to not get so worked up? Or a part of you is sitting in fear of failure or sickness or loss? And the other part of you is telling you to be courageous and that it is all going to be okay? The internal dialogue can be exhausting.
When you have these internal struggles with your inner critic or the part of you that are fighting against you, the first step is to STOP! Stop what you are doing, take a full and deep breath. Get into the present. Feel your feet on the ground. Look around and identify what you see, hear and feel. Pull yourself back to the now.
So many times we have inner chatter that is sitting in fear of the future or frustration over the past. Both the future and the past are constructs in our head. The present moment- THIS MOMENT- is all that we have. When you can pull yourself away from the exhaustive critic, chatter and parts that are interfering with your ability to be present, you can find a moment of calm in the now.
Next time that you find yourself being exhausted from your own thoughts, stop what you are doing and take a deep breath. Get back into the now. Look around and be present. This is ’t some sort of spiritual bypass- those thoughts and inner chatter are going to still be there. What is important is to get to the present, give yourself some compassion and grace and then work to reframe what the inner chatter is saying.
Breathe Deeply. You got this.