YES!
I used to say “yes” to everything. Even when it was a “no” for me. I would say “yes” to make someone else happy or to fill other people’s needs while depleting my own energy. I would jam my schedule with all sorts of events, would volunteer for extra responsibilities at work or would answer that call because I knew someone else needed me despite the fact I was very busy or had little time or patience for that call.
If there is one thing that Covid times have taught me is that I want to spend my time doing things that are a “yes” for me, first. And I realized that alone time, down time and chill time is way more important to me than I understood in the past. I realized that making certain decisions that benefit me and add happiness to my life is a priority. And if it benefits someone else, as well, that is a secondary effect. A bonus, if you will.
A personal example that I will share. I moved away from home at the age of 18 and would travel back to Rochester, New York every single year for the holidays because that is where my family lived. It was never a discussion, I just always went home. Last year in 2020, Covid cancelled all possible travel plans for me. I didn’t go home for the annual camping trip, Thanksgiving or Christmas. Could I have gone home? Yes. But I wasn’t yet vaccinated and I didnt want to risk travelling back to my family. So I stayed in San Francisco and my wife and I had the holidays at home with our pup, a huge Thanksgiving dinner and a fantastically decorated Christmas tree. I zoomed into our family holiday party, opened gifts from afar and felt relaxed and calm. There was no holiday travel, no planes, trains and automobiles, no suitcases, no snow and very little stress. So as we are entering the soon to be holiday season, I reflected on last year and decided that I want to do the same thing. I want to stay in San Francisco and celebrate from afar. It is not that I don’t want to be with my family. It is more that holiday travel feels like a “no” to me and the added stress is not something that I want to experience this year. So I am staying home. I had an open and honest conversation with my family and they completely understood. In fact, my nephew and sister are coming to visit after the holidays, instead!
So I ask you: Are there areas in your life that you are saying, “yes” when it is really a no for you? Why are you saying yes? Can you make a different choice? I encourage you to take a look at this precious life of yours and choose how you spent our time, money and energy wisely. You have a choice. Choose you, first.
You got this. Keep going. Your Future Self Will Thank You.